Social and Emotional Skills are a child’s ability to manage, cope, and express emotions in a healthy manner. It is important during early childhood for children to learn the skills essential to self confidence, healthy self perception, and healthy relationships. Eight identifiers will help you know you are on the right track to teaching your early learner important social/emotional skills.
Why Are Social Emotional Skills Important
Peers influence are just as important as the influence of parents. Peers help us act out and practice social skills. They also offer opportunities to practice managing, coping, and expressing emotions in a way that is helpful to their growth.
I’ve met many adults who have yet to learn to appropriately cope with and express emotions effectively. Often people resort to anger when their actual emotions are sadness, fear, or guilt.
With early education it is important to gain control of external and internal triggers. Small children benefit from support in doing so, but be mindful that between the ages of 2 and 6 children establish a foundation for regulating emotions.
Regulating emotions is affected by a combination of examples from those in their closest environment, personal temperament, and maturing of the prefrontal cortex which helps with expression, behavior change, social behavior, and decision making. The prefrontal cortex matures fully in mid 20s. Starting early with developing these areas can benefit your child’s development.
Social/Emotional Developmental
Expectations & Tips
Self Related Expectations
Awareness & Expression of Emotion
Recognize and identify own emotions and the emotions of others
Communicate a range of emotions in socially accepted ways
TIP #1
Use daily feeling face posters to identify a feeling of the day. Of course feelings are certain to change throughout the day at which time you can refer back to feeling posters to help your child identify their present feelings. Incorporate others in doing so as well. I use these posters.
Self Concept
Identify the diversity in human characteristics and how people are similar and different
Compare own characteristics to those of others
TIP #2
There are super useful tips to teach culture and diversity to kids. One tip is by engaging in multicultural experiences and discussing similarities and differences. Explore more tips
Self Regulation
Manage the expression of feelings thoughts, impulses, and behaviors with minimal guidance from adults
Demonstrate the ability to delay gratification for short periods of time
With modeling and support, show awareness of the consequences for his/her actions
TiP #3
Help children connect thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so that they are able to manage difficult moments on their own. I use a therapy concept called the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy triangle.
Plainly put, how you think about an event dictates your feelings and behavioral response.
Work toward replacing negative thoughts with more helpful thoughts and your feelings and behaviors will follow the same trail. This will not likely be perfected by toddlers but planting the seed is important. Be the example you want to see.
Sense of Competence
Show confidence in own abilities and accomplish routine and familiar tasks independently
TIP #4
Encourage your child to do things for themselves and praise them in their attempts. Little steps with encouragement can grow confidence and improve self perception. I like Montessori as they focus on independent accomplishment.
Relationships Related Expectations
Attachment
Express affection for familiar adults
Seek security and support from familiar adults in anticipation of challenging situations
Separate from familiar adults in a familiar setting with minimal distress
TIP #5
Be present! It can be easy to be distracted with tasks or other children. I had to plan one on one time. During nap time my son gets all my time and attention. He loves to cuddle and talk.
If physically removing yourself from your child causes them distress there is something you can do. Practice going for a 5-10 minute walk each day to help your child understand you are coming back. Over time this will improve.
Peer Interactions & Relationships
Interact with peers in more complex pretend play including planning, coordination of roles and cooperation
Demonstrate socially competent behavior with peers
With modeling and support, negotiate to resolve social conflicts with peers
TIP #7
Sometimes parents need to step back and let children use the skills you practice at home. Processing of events can take place either after the event or later during one one one time. My little one loves to process things in the car. Intervene if necessary. I struggle with this one, however, being less controlling is my goal. At least I am aware of my struggles.
Interaction With Adults
Engage in extended, reciprocal conversation with familiar adults
Request and accept guidance from familiar adults
TIP #6
Currently the pandemic has caused loved ones to be separated from each other. Technology is a wonderful thing. Using face time to stay connected to friends and family outside of your home is a beneficial tool. We began this due to a move. My youngest has only briefly met our extended family but she has a close relationship with her grandmothers and aunts due to technology and daily talks.
If face time is not an option use pictures of family members during calls and throughout the day so that relationships can be built and/or maintained.
Empathy
Express concern for the needs of others and people in distress
Show regard for the feelings of other living things
TIP #8
Ask the necessary questions.
Ex. Can you think of a reason why sister is crying? OR Sister is crying what do you think that means?
My child is protective of his sibling and often prevents accidents, however, often his approach is a tad bit aggressive. Processing the emotions can help your child gain insight into their own feelings and the other persons. Sometimes it is appropriate to include the other person in this discussion but do not force their participation.
Also, be the example. When speaking to your child you can acknowledge their feelings while also setting limits.
Ex. I understand you were scared for your sister because she put paper in her mouth. I think we can think of another way of stopping her like calling mom, or telling her paper is not food and asking her to put it down.
Resources
Books
The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires
Waiting by Kevin Henkes
The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig & Patrice Barton
Enemy Pie by Derek Mason & Tara Calahan
Hooray For Hat! by Brian Won
The Honest To Goodness Truth by Patricia C. McKissack & Giselle Potter
The Feeling Book by Todd Parr
Please, Mr. Panda by Steve Antony
Wild Feelings by David Milgrim
Thanks A Millon by Nikki Grimes & Cozbi A. Cabrera
PBS Kids
Daniel Tiger
Sesame Street
The Last Thing You Need To Know About Social Emotional Skills
With learning to express feelings with their words we can be certain that our children have built up a level of emotional awareness. This maturity at an early age can set a foundation for managing, coping with, and expressing emotions with peers and others. I dare say social/emotional skills are one of the most important holistic components as it can positively or negatively affect all aspects of a child’s development. More holistic information is available to guide you to successful child development. An important takeaway is that all emotions are normal.
What coping strategies have you found helpful for your little one?
